The Engagement Story

These past few months have been an utter whirlwind. It’s hard to believe that it’s already more than 3 months since the engagement. What a ride it’s been.

I’ve been meaning to write this engagement story post for quite some time but the ticking timeline and long checklists have been pushing this off. The more engrossed in the planning that I’ve been, the more anxious I’ve been in wanting to come back write this post to remind myself of what it's all about.

I’ve been feeling a lot of angst lately in fighting this idea of putting on a production - balancing expectations and social norms with my actual desires. A part of me wishes that we eloped because to be honest, the type of decor on a table or the colors of the bridal party doesn’t matter all that much.

At the end of the day, what I’m looking forward to the most is just being able to consecrate the marriage with our vows before Him and the army of people who have brought us to this point. I have this image of us standing up there - saying words that carry weight we likely can’t comprehend yet. With every sentence, I see flashes of us standing up there as though we are a decade older.

In our 40s, then in our 50s, then in our 60s.

Each sentence capturing more history knowing the gravity of the seasons we’ve fought through together. Labored through together. Laughed through together. And hopefully, poured out our lives together. By the end of the vows, we stand there face to face holding onto wrinkled hands with a lifetime to look back at on and not a hint of hesitation that it was worth it. It was far better together.

Going back to the engagement story -

James’ sister got engaged earlier in the year and had been mentioning that her old students that she used to work with at UC Santa Cruz wanted to throw her a bridal shower. We were talking about it at a family dinner one night and nothing seemed too out of the ordinary.

Fast forward a few months and I receive a text from his sister asking if I’d be able to help the students set up for the bridal shower. It seemed a bit strange that she would be so involved with planning her own bridal shower, but they were college students with limited resources so I quickly dismissed it. Her text was extremely detailed including what to bring and how to dress for the “garden theme” bridal shower.

On the week of, I thinking about how we should make a road trip out of the weekend and kept asking James if we could leave after setup. He gladly agreed to my typical type A planning schemes of squeezing in multiple pit stops and driving up the 1 for a full day. We agreed to carpool from his house that Saturday morning. His mom opened the door and said that we should get a move on if we wanted to beat beach traffic. Apparently his sister had already left before us. On the way down, I kept pushing James to make a quick pit stop at property for sale to which he reluctantly agreed. He was very short with me the rest of the drive down and his attitude seemed very off - definitely a rocky start.

When we got to Santa Cruz, we grabbed a quick coffee and headed over to the botanical gardens where the bridal shower was going to take place. There was one student, Adam, waiting for us with his camera at a picnic table when we got there who was supposedly the student that was going to meet us to help with setup. We unloaded the car and after some small talk, James asks if we could wander around the garden until the other students arrived. It seemed strange to me that we wouldn’t wait for his sister but decided to go with it. Adam invites himself along with his camera to “take pictures of birds and flowers.”

About 10 steps into our walk around the garden, James takes my hand and pulls me aside to talk. I was very caught off guard because 1.) how awkward is it that Adam, a guy we just met, is standing 3 feet away from us and 2.) I didn’t want to hash out our earlier argument in the car at that moment. Before I could suggest talking some other time, he proceeds on and talks for a solid few minutes before I start to realize what was happening. Honestly, I don’t remember a single thing he said but the last few lines!

It all happened so quickly and there was such a mix of emotions running through me - excitement, shock, joy, and the slightest tinge of relief that it happened. One of us cried ;)

We then spent the rest of the morning going around the garden with Adam as our photographer and hopped over to the boardwalk for more pictures. James and I love places like the boardwalk and arcades - almost every time we see a fair game or an arcade, we will stop and play. It brings out the inner kid in us and feeds our competitive spirits. Our collection of consolation prizes has grown over the course of our dating relationship and while it may be collecting dust, I’d like to think we will be well trained by the time our kids are begging us to win them the grand prize!

After a few rides, games, and a funnel cake, James suggested we head home to catch his parents before his mom flew out to Seattle. We were greeted by so much love from our dearest friends! He had planned a surprise engagement party so we were so grateful for all the support and celebration that day :)

James' thoughtfulness throughout this whole process is such an example love in action. From the long winded adventures of getting the right ring (story for another time) to finding a way to combine being in nature while being "dressed up" to gathering all of our friends and family. This wedding process has only brought that out even more. While I haven't shared much on social media about our engagement and rarely have public posts of affection, he definitely deserves more than a brag now and then.

After these few months of craziness, we could get married at a drive through chapel in Vegas or we could get married at a castle in Germany. Either way, I am so excited to just do the darn thing!