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It's hard to believe our little one is about to come any day now! We're less than 2 weeks out from our due date and, as of today's doctor's appointment, I am officially 2 cm dilated. My heart skipped a beat when our doctor gave us the news. On the upside, he is head down and ready to enter the world!
This last trimester has flown by and it's been such a sweet journey to be able to grow this little life. I always knew that I wanted to be a mom but I never thought that I would enjoy pregnancy as much as I have. From the small (or aggressive post-ice-cream) kicks to the visual changes of my growing body, it's been the wildest thing. It's amazing how our bodies are capable of such things and I will miss the moments of being able to talk to him in the womb while driving, showering, cooking, whatever it may be. It's nice having a 24/7 companion :)
So many emotions are running through my mind these days
Nesting has been in fullllll swing. I've been obsessing (probably too much) about making sure the nursery is ready even though he isn't going to be sleeping there for 6 months. Something about having a picture perfect space for him makes my mama heart reassured. I absolutely love his room and know that we'll spend lots of time in there nursing if nothing else.
All the cute baby clothes - I have to stop myself many times from overflowing his dresser with clothes he likely will only wear once. Truth be told, I was a little sad when I started shopping for baby clothes and saw how few options there are for boys compared to girls... until I discovered all the cute online brands. Give me all the overalls, henleys, sweatshirt sets, nike onesies, and mini size sneakers please :)
Body changes have been DRASTIC in the last trimester - mostly in belly growth. A significant portion of my weight gain hit this trimester which was a bit of a shock since I've been trending below average most of the pregnancy. I'm now officially heavier than James! I've also started to notice a faint belly line and the pelvic discomfort is REAL. All in all, there hasn't been much pain and I count myself lucky!
Maternity leave is such an incredibly sweet blessing. Because of these extra weeks, I've been trying to soak in all the feels and really be in the season knowing that the next time we do this, there's likely going to be a toddler running around instead of peace and quiet :) Routines these days involve an early morning walk with James, prenatal yoga, devotionals, breakfast, a mix of nursery cleaning/crafting/organizing, lunch (sometimes with friends), and errands. It's been so nice to fully disconnect from work after a crazy 6 month+ stretch of grinding it out.
Labor has had me on the edge of my seat and I find myself feeling anxious, curious, and excited. It's almost the same bag of mixed emotions before the half ironman races (which feels like decades ago!) and I'm trying to pep talk myself up every morning not knowing if today is the day! I'm trying to not have any expectations going into labor because who knows what will go down but if possible, I am hoping for a natural birth if baby and I can do it!
Baby's daddy has been the NUMBER ONE champ throughout all of this and I am honestly so so grateful to be doing life with him. I feel like I won the lottery. James has always been thoughtful and helpful but during this season, it has manifested even more so - from the little things like making sure my pregnancy pillow is set up at night to the big things like having grace when my emotions are running wild during a fight - baby is already blessed to have him as his daddy. Fingers crossed that baby really is James' mini-me.
Our community has been overwhelmingly supportive in ways that have left me speechless and humbled. There has been constant outpouring of generosity (our baby is already spoiled!) and encouragement from day 1. Since we are one of the first in our closest friend circles to have a baby, I worried a lot about whether we had the village needed to raise help raise this baby into a respectable man. There have been many moments where I felt our prayers have been answered 10-fold and we continue to witness such undeserved grace. Extra shout out to the mamas who have been so sweet in reaching out to me over and over. The biggest unexpected lesson I've learned during this season is how to let people in and how to emulate that for others.
Baby C, I am so so excited to meet you after feeling you inside me the last 9 months. Part of me wishes I could keep you in the womb forever - with my body as your protection and provider - but the other part of me cannot wait to watch you flourish in the world. It's wild that I'm getting emotional even writing this thinking you are growing up too fast (when you're not even born!) but I know that the days are going to go by fast. I want to bottle it all up - the sleepless newborn nights, your "firsts", and everything in between.
Baby, I used to be worried about bringing you into a broken world knowing that there is going to be hurt and suffering (you've already "lived" through a pandemic!).
You're going to be challenged.
You're going to experience struggles.
But more and more, I am so hopeful of the good you will be able to bring. I hope you are able to bring life to those around you and be a legacy maker in all the best ways. Be humble but be courageous.
Your dad and I will definitely fall short of being the parents you deserve many times and we ask that you have grace on us. It is such a high calling to be your mom and dad - to have an opportunity to raise a boy into a man. We will try our absolute hardest to love you in the most unconditional way. Know that we are your biggest cheerleaders and you will forever be ours.
See you soon son. xo, Mom.